"We all are faced with the question, 'Who will care for our elderly relatives?'"
It is my goal to make a positive difference in a few people's lives by offering assistance for daily living at home, and, by extension, offer a helping hand to the families who care, but do not have the resources to offer the help all by themselves.
Perhaps my story, which explains why I feel I have this calling, will explain:
This is a story about my elderly relatives; it is a story familiar to many. Although your personal story may vary in detail, our needs are likely to be somewhat similar. Sooner or later, we all are faced with the question, "Who will care for our elderly relatives or friends-the people who cared for us when we were young-who will care for them now that they need care?"
My Aunt Shirley and Aunt Pruney lived together in Boulder after the deaths of their husbands. Aunt Shirley (age 88) had always been the care giving matriarch of the family and, although she suffered from macular degeneration and was losing her eyesight, she still cared for Aunt Pruney (age 85) who had moderately advanced Parkinson's disease. Aunt Pruney and Aunt Shirley lived at home, independent and happy with their lifestyle.
On July 1st, Aunt Pruney fell and broke her hip. She was first hospitalized, then, after surgery, she was sent to a nursing home to recover. A month later, Aunt Shirley fell down the basement stairs and broke her collar bone. Meanwhile, Aunt Pruney, now ready to return home, had been bedridden in the nursing home for over a month and could not move from bed without hearty assistance. Shirley was in no condition to care for her. My mother, Mary Lou (age 77), a retired RN, recognized that neither could now care for the other, and that Aunt Pruney was degenerating, not improving, in the nursing home.
Mary Lou and Walter, my father, moved them both into their two bedroom town home in Thornton, setting Aunt Pruney up in a hospital bed in the dining room and rooming Aunt Shirley in the second bedroom.
The good news is that Aunt Pruney and Shirley were both improving now that they ate 3 sit-down meals a day and had lots of social stimulation. But my parents were providing 24 hour care, seven days a week, and the effort was taking a toll on their physical and emotional resources. It was clear that Mary Lou and Walter needed help. They needed occasional respite from the responsibilities they had so willingly and lovingly assumed.
My cousins and I could offer occasional relief on weekends, but in order to do the daily physical exercises she needed to regain strength and mobility, Aunt Pruney needed more attention than Mary Lou could provide.
I placed ads at local colleges that offered health care programs and I contacted agencies that advertised home health care assistance. I discovered how difficult it is to find independent home health aides and how costly agencies are.
Only 2 women responded to my ads. I managed to screen and hire the first to help my mother several hours a day, but after a few weeks, the caregiver, Karen, announced that she had finally found a buyer for her mobile home that she was moving to South Dakota, immediately. I screened the other respondent, Maria, a student at a local health care school, and Mary Lou hired her as a replacement.
I thought to myself, wow, Maria is great, but she won't be around long because she finishes her current schooling, and will be looking for another, full time job.
For the elderly who do not have a Mary Lou and Walter to be their caregivers and advocates, what resources exist, besides expensive agencies who charge double what they pay the employees they send to your home? I've learned how hard it is to find a desirable and compatible hourly caregiver through want ads in the paper or at local colleges --- it's possible, but difficult. And it is a constant worry, knowing you might be looking for another caregiver next week.
After this experience, I decided to find a way for Aunt Pruney and Aunt Shirley to return home, with help, and to create an affordable resource for people who need part-time or full-time living assistance. I quit my job as a college professor and started Home Not Alone.
It is my goal to make a positive difference in a few elders' lives by offering a helping hand at home, and, by extension, offer a helping hand to the families or friends who care, but do not have the resources to provide or manage the help all by themselves.
~Dr. David Stephen~
